I've just been to do my tax.  The person helping me (Sam) asked, “is this (music) a business or a hobby?”

And that's quite the question, isn't it.

Sam observed that if marketing is involved, it's a business.  She was probably talking about tax rules but it resonated with me in a completely different way.

Music has always been a hobby, something I do for fun, because I love it, because it makes me happy.  Some people play footy, others decorate cakes - I write songs and sing them.  

However, here we are - with a website and music-specific social media pages where I make posts about what I do and try to encourage other people to come to the things I'm doing.  

In other words - marketing.  

Sam (and the tax office) were right.  You don't tend to market a hobby.  You might tell people about it because you're proud of it or want to show it off.  But marketing is what you do when you are trying to get someone to “buy” something.  Or be interested in something.  To like something, maybe?  

This shifts the dynamic entirely.   It's not enough to just be quietly pleased that I made up a nice song that I like and enjoy singing - to internally self validate.  Now you need external validation …  you need other people (ideally not just your mum and your cats) to also like your song and like listening to you sing it.

And this is where imposter syndrome kicks in.  I see my friends and others I know who are far, far more talented and skilled than I am - and I wonder what on earth I'm thinking.   And that, frankly is just uncomfortable.

It would be nice to just be able to consider this issue, land on a way to feel about it and move on.  But this one is like standing on one of those things you get to improve your balance.  Constantly wobbling about, leaning one way then another depending on the day.  Sometimes within a day!

I don't think I'm alone.  Let me know if you also feel like that too xx

A little while ago I started a gratitude jar.  

I had become ill and I thought I wouldn't be able to sing again.  Which made me realise I had taken so much - music and life in general - for granted.  And that I needed to make a practice of being grateful.  

So every now and then I write something on a bit of paper and stick it in the jar.  And every now and then when I'm feeling a bit blue or even just having an entitled diva moment - I look at them to remind myself how lucky I actually am.  And how I should stop bitching and moaning about stupid things.

So today I was having a moment - and I pulled some of the ones out just now that relate to music.  And it's inspired me to write this series of thank yous. 

Thank you to the freaking amazing people from the audience that I've met and gotten to know over the last few years.   Who show up time and time again to watch shows.  Thank you to the people I've never met before who say such incredibly kind things to me.  Or show their appreciation via social media.  That includes friends of friends who have come along in support.  You are actual heroes.  You guys spend your time and your money on us.  Even when times are hard.  And I appreciate that so very much.

Thank you to the sharers and supporters.  The people who take pictures and videos, who post about shows, blog about shows, share the love for things they've seen so others can experience them.  I've said it before but it's so hard to get the footage of shows we need in this world where nothing is real if it doesn't exist on social media.  You guys are lifesavers.  And from a consumer of music standpoint, I love it when I see bits of shows I've not seen and can celebrate the talent we have here in WA vicariously.  You taking the time to do that, is so very much appreciated.

Thank you to the people who organise shows we play in.  That's booking agents, as well as the driven, inspired (read: crazy) people in bands who put nights together and invite other bands to play with them.  Anyone who has ever put on a show knows how much work goes into organising it - and it exponential;y increases with the size of the show - no economy of scale there.  These folk bust a gut - we waltz in, show pony around, bask in the glory of doing our thing and waltz off again.  They work their arses off, sometimes don't get paid and often, don't even get thanked.  Well, fucking thank you.

Thank you to the soundies, the lighting techs and all the other crew who make a show happen.  You make us look and sound better than we really are, just quietly there in the background.  Sometimes you tell us about it (hehehhe) sometimes you don't.  You arrive early, leave late and put up with all of our diva shit in the middle.  You're amazing and we could not do this without you.

Without everyone above doing what they do - none of it would happen and everyone - the venues and venue staff, the artists, the punters .. even down to the people who supply the stuff to the venues that people eat and drink when they come there to watch a show, would be at home watching MAFS*.  Which would entirely suck. 

So thanks.  I am really, really, really  grateful for all of you.

* Sorry if you like MAFS - I don't mean to upset you - it's just can't think of anything I'd like less to be doing.

In this post, I bid a fond farewell to Tangled. 

I'm not a fan of literality.  I far prefer it when people have to work a little to derive meaning.  I enjoy the variety of interpretation that creates.  I stand by this - despite the fact that my friend Ivan says he can never tell what my songs are about as a result :)

So when it comes to choosing an ‘operating name’ as an artist, it seems dull and obvious to choose to use my ‘actual’ name.  But friends, that is exactly what I have chosen to do.

If you're interested, this blog post talks about why I chose Tangled as an artist name for my original work. At some point if I get sufficiently philosophical I'll maybe talk about why I've now decided to use my actual name in another post. 

But the main thing to know now, I guess, is that it's happening - now.  And a few things are changing as a result.  

I have a new artist profile on Spotify and Apple Music.  All the music I've released thus far is now available under my name and Tangled is no more.  Other things changing as well - Facebook is changing.  Instagram is changing, Soundcloud is changing.  I have a shiny new bandcamp profile and a YouTube channel which (YouTube gods being willing .. ) will hopefully soon become a YouTube music channel.  This website also has a new domain. 

All this means - of course - is that if you had been kind enough to follow me on Spotify or add me to a playlist I would really love it if you'd follow me again as Tanya Aquino, put me back on the playlist, have a listen and so forth.  I'll stick a little list at the bottom of this.

And that is enough for this post I think.  But.  There are more things to come, quite a lot.  I have made this change for a reason after all!  Stay tuned, friends.

Thanks for being here and reading this - I appreciate you!

PS:  Here is a list of links to all the new things!  

Spotify | Soundcloud | Instagram | Bandcamp | YouTube | Website | Facebook | Email |

Songwriters?  Does this happen to you?  

It's a heap of fun writing and recording .. particular when you're doing it in the company of good people - like this dude in the picture with me >>.  It's like this little bubble of happy, creative time.  I thrive on it, I could do it all day every day.  It's the actual thing, right - this is what it's actually about.  Music.  You don't want it to end, because of that - but also because then the rest of it needs to happen.

What's the rest of it?  So glad you asked.

Well once you've done the musical part of making music, there is a shit ton of other stuff that has to be done to get it to the point of being out there in the world.  Artwork, videos, release admin, shameless self promotion (SSP) in the form of social media blergh. Designing posters and merch.  Trying to take selfies with your iphone that are not horrific. See this post for my boomer adventures in selfies and I'm not even a boomer.  And then you launch it.  Aiiiee.  Band and venue logistics.  Ticket sales.  Do they let cats and infants in to make up numbers?

So you really need to knuckle down and concentrate on that stuff.  Get on with it.  RING the venue Tanya.  BOOK THE BOYS IN, THEY WILL ALL BE TOO BUSY IF YOU LEAVE IT TOO LONG!!

But no.  Another song has arrived and is living rent free in my head.  Banging off the insides of my skull while I try to sleep.  And I have to write it.  It won't let me alone. This is how it always is with songs, for me.  However right now it's ABSOLUTELY INCONVENIENT.  I am supposed to be FINISHING things not STARTING them.  Sigh,

Is it just me?  I think it's a good song though.  Let's see.